My divorce really came about through an almost total lack of communication with my husband. It became turbulent.
He loathed his job and was drinking heavily. He really had nothing to do with the children and had no influence over them, either. He was rarely around and when he was, he would sit and stare at the TV all evening without a word.
My husband was so negative and controlling. We didn’t agree anything between us. The goal posts kept moving and he was very unpredictable. I was suffering from ill-health and felt that there was mental abuse. I was very unhappy.
I certainly didn’t want to think that on my death bed I was full of regret thinking that I should have sorted out the divorce years ago.
When my mother found Divorce Negotiator she put it to my husband and the idea of a divorce was clearly a shock to him. I wanted OUT asap and this shocked him, too.
We each had a solicitor and solicitors only have one thing in mind – to battle it out for their client and accrue costs.
Finding Carol was best thing ever. I admit that I was sceptical to start with but to get out of the marriage, I was willing to try anything. I was so frustrated with my solicitor and my husband with his. Emotionally, it was draining.
We met Carol and I chose not to retaliate to his pressure. He was manipulating everything he could with Divorce Negotiator, grabbing at everything. I may feel some resentment later about the concessions I made but I felt that I wanted out quickly and I could not put a price on my happiness.
I wanted to move back to be the person I really was.
My health and happiness and the children’s was priceless to me. There are no winners and no financial rewards in the divorce process.
The children – 11 and 14 have struggled and my ex-husband tried to make life difficult for me with them. When we separated, he was offering the children financial incentives to move in and stay with him. Then he’d forget the offer by the next morning.
There was no communication between us and there still isn’t. I thought that with the decree nisi things would improve, but not so.
I dreaded the thought of going to court. Through Divorce Negotiator, this wasn’t necessary. It was stressful enough meeting my husband at Carol’s!
Carol was completely open and honest – she has so much experience. She tells you exactly as it is: “If you go to court, this will happen….” She cares about you individually. My ex even considered that he was ok financially as a result of meeting Carol.
Among her many skills, she reads people’s characters. She could detect that there was no room for negotiation but she knew exactly how to work around it and how to make it work for both of us.
Carol sensed there was emotional abuse from my husband, she’s incredibly intuitive. She cuts to the chase with precision and caring, but pulls you up with clear examples of consequences… “if you proceed with X, you can expect Y.” There’s no dithering with Carol – a refreshing change from the solicitors’ approach.
I am now far more positive running a successful and growing business and, once again, I am the person I have wanted to be for years!