People are often left scarred by previous relationships and life experiences. Dramatic events in life do have the power to change your personality, think differently or even make you a stronger person. Thinking of your past can effectively feel like a large weight placed upon your shoulders or a thorn in your side. We should all be grateful of the life we’ve had up to this point. But, also learn to deal with the harsher memories or particular regrets. It’s not healthy to dwell on things that you cannot change. What’s done is done and what’s important is here and now!
If you feel that your past is haunting you, don’t let it influence your decision-making in the present. It is so easy to put things off, or not even attempt certain things for fear of rejection or lack of enthusiasm, linked to past experience. Our futures are not set in stone! They are yours for the taking and what’s important is to move forward. Try to set yourself goals for things you would like to do and to achieve. This could be as little as joining a local running club, to planning for another baby.
For couples who are considering a divorce, it is natural to look back on your married life. You may well think about where it all went wrong or what could have been different. However, if you are now at a stage of preparing for divorce then this isn’t too important. It’s best to look at your situation with a fresh perspective. I.e. we are getting divorced and need to split things fairly, including property, finances and childcare etc. If you both spend your time pinpointing the mistakes that each of you made with the marriage, then the process is likely to take longer.
Don’t dwell on the negative
Again, dwelling on negative issues can lead to couples making their situation worse by using two solicitors. Each solicitor will aim to get the best for each individual and this leads to costs and tensions rising. With Divorce Negotiator, you can both work things out amicably and use one negotiator to talk through dividing your lives. We understand the stress you will both feel but we know that your future is likely to be a happier one, if you can look back without any acrimonious thoughts. Many of the couples we work with, remain friends and this helps when making childcare arrangements.
For further information or to have a confidential discussion about your situation, please telephone 0800 177 7702 (Freephone)