Deciding to divorce is a difficult decision and it can take time to reach it. Unless divorce papers were suddenly thrust upon you then you may have been agonising over what to do for some time. Many couples experiencing hard times will firstly try to make it work for the sake of the marriage. It’s not an easy decision and some peoples’ marriage will be in limbo for a while before it becomes absolutely clear that the best way forward is to end it.
You may have uttered those vows: ‘till death do us part’ and the thought of ending the marriage could be a gut-wrenching experience, especially when you consider the possible effect it will have on the children and your wider family. There are many reasons why marriages fail and the way you are thinking can be influenced by certain circumstances. The increasing feeling of being alone in a marriage, can lead you to think independently with ‘should I stay or should I go?’ running through your head.
Taking an individual perspective on things may be a positive experience for you. Perhaps you have spent 10 years in a marriage, where you have always thought about things together and you have neglected your personal feelings or ambitions. The more you consider divorce, the more excited and positive you feel about the future and the chance for you to live independently again.
Get in the right mindset
It’s important to get in the right mindset for the divorce process. Regardless of the reason for wanting to end the marriage, come to the agreement with your spouse. Instead of fighting forever after, use the time away from each other to reflect and accept what has happened is in the past and you are looking forward. In reality, the future would be better if you could be on good terms with your ex, especially where there are children involved, who want to spend time with both of you.
Divorce can shatter people’s dreams of happiness but at least you won’t be ‘happy ever after’ with the wrong person. Divorce can open your eyes to reality and help you think positive and even optimistic about your future. Working together with your spouse on the divorce process will help establish that amicable relationship for future projects, like helping to organise your son or daughter’s wedding.
Divorce doesn’t have to be a battle. If you have both decided that divorce is what you want, we can help you reach a fair settlement that is fair for the whole family and your future finances. At Divorce Negotiator we work with you both to encourage a simple process in the friendliest possible manner.
For more information call us on 0800 177 7702.