Whether you are considering divorce or have made the decision with your spouse to go ahead, there are often worries around the subject. Every day we read about high profile celebrities like Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian. These celebrities seem to go from happily married to battling out divorce proceedings in the court in a very short time. Here are 3 key areas, which many couples worry about when getting divorced:
Will I be happier being divorced?
Despite the number of years you have been together, there is no set formula for calculating when a divorce is an acceptable course of action. Kim Kardashian decided after 72 days that she wanted to part from new husband Kris Humphries but there can be many reasons to justify a new life without each other. Some may realise they need a divorce after 72 days and then live through another few more years in an unhappy marriage before eventually going through with it.
What is important is to decide what’s right for you both. Take time to discuss your problems and work out what you want for your future. Over time, people can change for the better or worse but life moves on and if divorce gives you the opportunity to be happier in your life, then maybe it’s something to consider. There may be a series of pivotal moments that make you realise that the marriage is over.
Will my children be okay if we get divorced?
There is lots of research and articles about the impact of divorce on children and this can be a little bewildering for a worried parent. You may read about how children adapt very well or even thrive, only to find another article stating the opposite.
One of the main issues is how to tell the children. This can be arranged with your partner so that there is a planned time to tell them, where you can be clear and specific. You also need to give them time to grieve and understand the process the family is going through. As parents, you can be there for them and teach them how to be resilient and cope with the change in circumstances. The important thing is not to ask them to decide who is right or wrong or which parent they want to choose.
Does getting even pay off?
It is easily assumed that when things go wrong and there are lots of bad feelings surrounding a marriage that both parties would want to get out and move on. This is easier said than done. For some who feel they have been wronged, they want to get even before bringing it to an end. This is their way of making sure that the person will be sorry for what they did or that they get their share of money owed to them. This can add to the distress of divorce and lead to animosity, which can be further damaging when children are included in the argument.
For some people, the concept of getting even overtakes the need to move on with their life. Deep down, they may understand that they need to act accordingly to achieve happiness. However, they insist on getting even or even revenge because they feel cheated or betrayed. The real insight is to leave the pain behind and look forward to a future where you can reach a happier place.
One of the potentially delicate matters is finances and Divorce Negotiator can guide you through this process together. This is a unique service that helps you both through the law on divorce and fair financial settlements. We keep costs low and aim to achieve a fair and reasonable split of your assets. For more information click HERE