Hi all, hope the week has gone well and you’re looking forward to the weekend. Janet contacted us to ask whether the time children spend with each parent following separation and divorce should be split equally.
The answer is yes, if the children can manage it then it is beneficial for them to spend the same amount of time with each parent, this will be a positive input in the children’s lives when going through such a big change. Start as you mean to go on as children are resilient and will expect the time spent with each parent straight after the divorce to be the set way forward. The children will want to feel safe and secure as your divorce is a life changing event that they need to adapt to so creating a routine will help. Tell your children you love them and reassure them that what is happening with Mum and Dad is not their fault and doesn’t mean they are loved any less. So if you can, try it to start with, see how it works for you all and if it needs to change then it can be. Nothing has to be cast in stone.
If your children are older they may behave out of character either during or following the divorce, this is relatively normal but make sure you speak to them and help them through this phase. They may have more questions as they are older and understand what is happening better than younger children, it is important to answer these questions openly and honestly.
Hope this has helped.
Have a great weekend and keep sending us your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org