Is it time to breakup?

When a relationship breaks down, you may find yourself listing the reasons why you shouldn’t be together rather than how to hold it together. The classic line ‘it’s not you, it’s me!’ is still one of the most popular ones to explain your way out of a relationship. It is a kind way to end it to pin the blame on yourself but a mature outlook would be to say ‘it’s not us anymore’. There is no point beating around the bush when it is clear to both of you in the relationship that it is time to breakup.

Adults can adopt a childlike attitude to a bad situation and get very defensive, especially when arguments get heated and personal. The higher ground in this scenario is to forgive and tolerate the other’s behaviour. Being nice to someone you don’t like doesn’t mean you’re fake. It simply means that you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike for them.

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain – Maya Angelou

We all make mistakes in life but as human beings we can’t help admiring someone for having a positive attitude that is friendly to others in any situation. Fighting aggression with further aggression only makes the situation worse. Having a calm attitude, where you explain to your partner how you feel and what you would like to achieve works best. Conversations can be hard work but sometimes testing times like these will only make you stronger.

As time passes, you will find it easier to speak to past partners and so called ‘enemies’, as you forgive and move on. Life is too short to hold grudges, especially if you are breaking up a family that needs to stay in touch.

For further information or to have a confidential discussion about your situation, please telephone 0800 177 7702 (freephone) or email


Is it time to breakup? was last modified: November 14th, 2018 by Carol Sullivan

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