How to get over the hurdle of communication between couples in divorce

One of the main problems with getting a divorce is the communication between couples. As individuals, we wish to be heard and to be listened to and if either is being restricted in some way, it can increase the tension in any relationship. In any social situation where others are speaking over you or actively ignoring you, it can be very frustrating and could lead you to raising your voice to get your point across. It is often said that ‘men are from Mars and women from Venus’ but the truth is that men and women think and react differently. We may talk and hear differently, which can be a big hurdle for divorcing couples.

Communication between couples who are considering a divorce or going through a bad patch in the relationship can be stressful. However, a good start is to identify the problem with your partner. This might involve agreeing to take turns at expressing your feelings, without any interruptions. If you simply always fall into argumentative mode, then try writing down exactly what you want to say and read each other’s thoughts. This would also save you money, as getting a solicitor at an early stage will involve letters to and from each other.

The main point is to ensure your communication is efficient and effective by concentrating on solutions to the problems that will benefit both of you. You will make progress if you conduct your discussions in a civilised manner, avoiding repetition and taking care in how you sound to the other person. If your communication results in a rise in anxiety, negativity or volume then you are both less likely to reach a solution.

There are a number of things that can escalate conflict in a relationship. This can be anything from yelling, interrupting and snickering to body language like annoying habits or eye rolling. These things can trigger a negative reaction from the other person and increase animosity. In the same way, if you have a sarcastic tone to your comments, this often won’t do you any favours. People can be offended by passive aggressive remarks, which insult or even frighten the other person. It can also lead to them responding in a similar fashion, which makes things worse.

Couples have got to be careful of falling into the trap of arguing every time something is discussed. This behaviour can often lead to each person actually expecting an argument and then genuine compliments can be taken the wrong way. For couples seeking a divorce, they are most likely past that stage and have decided to take final action. A Divorce Negotiator can help you both to keep things calm and work out an amicable divorce. This will be the best for both of you and keep you on speaking terms, at least for the future.

For further information or to have a confidential discussion about your situation, please telephone 0800 177 7702 (Freephone) or

Jon Exton

How to get over the hurdle of communication between couples in divorce was last modified: May 23rd, 2018 by Carol Sullivan

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