A recent story in the news reflects the reality of married life. Mr and Mrs Bayford lived happily in an average house with their two young children. Mr Bayford worked in his own music shop and Mrs Bayford worked night shifts in a children’s hospital. Both working hard to bring in enough income to support their family and pay their bills. Their lives may be average to many but luck and circumstances can change everything. In this case, a lottery win of £148 million, certainly changed their perspective!
Many couples feel the struggle and financial strain, especially during these harsh economic times, with rising energy costs and lack of credit available. Daily life can be stressful but everyone adapts the best they can and be happy for what they have. Many couples will also play the lottery in the hope of at least winning a little something now and again. Perhaps an occasional small win could pay for a long-awaited night out together. However, some hope that one day, all their problems will be solved with a massive win, which will mean they can just focus on their happiness, buy things they’ve always wanted to and give up work for good.
One of the potential pitfalls with this is that people become disillusioned with money, focusing their time on earning it in order to be happy, instead of focusing on being happy! Every couple has a different story and in this case, the Bayfords are now on the verge of divorce. We may not discover the reasons but many will blame the lottery win. They originally said that it would bring their family together but now their relationship has ‘irretrievably’ broken down, which means they must split their fortunes and live in two separate lonely mansions.
Before the win, the couple were most likely working so much that they had become like passing ships in the night. Their relationship may have taken a backwards step, as both parents had put all their efforts into their children’s happiness and family environment. Many couples fall into this trap and have little time with each other, almost forgetting their love for one another above everything else. Despite this, many couples continue in this situation, as they don’t see a way out. They may occasionally have thoughts of ending the marriage but consider themselves worse off if they did.
The Bayfords will have their personal reasons but perhaps they found that giving up their work to focus on family togetherness, made them realise they had actually grown apart. People change over time and put in different circumstances, people can think differently. The benefit of the lottery win is obviously financial gain but it will also provide an opportunity to ‘pause for thought’. The couple can stand back and review their life, consider their ambitions and do what they want. During this process, they may feel that they don’t see themselves enjoying their life as a couple anymore. They don’t have to be tied to what they want to do.
For any couple thinking about divorce, it is important to give yourself time to pause for thought. Spend time reflecting on your current situation and where you would like to be in the future. Regardless of your financial situation, consider a chat about divorce negotiation to make the first step to your new life. Divorce Negotiator work with both parties to save time and money.
For further information or to have a confidential discussion about your situation please telephone
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